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Coping With Infertility on Mother's Day and Father's Day

1. Give up any and all feelings of guilt for how you are feeling! There is no right or wrong way to experience Mother or Father’s Day.
2. Know your limits and stick with them. If attending a family gathering is too painful, then don’t. You can still write a caring letter to your parent letting them know how you feel about them. If you do feel comfortable attending a family gathering, then do.
3. Plan to do something that is unrelated to parenting.
4. Attend religious services if you are comfortable knowing that the focus may be on mother’s or fathers. Perhaps you can ask your religious leader to say a prayer for those who have not yet achieved parenthood or are dealing with some other sort of crisis.
5. Plan for how you will answer uninvited questions about how you are feeling. Remember, you are not required to tell them your entire “story!”
6. Communicate with your partner to let him/her know of your feelings. Even if you and your partner are feeling differently about Mother’s or Father’s Day, it may help to share. If you are single, call a friend with whom you feel safe to share your feelings.

7. If you think it might be helpful, please call the clinic and set up an appointment with me, at no charge. Our number is 415-834-3000.

   -- Peggy Orlin, MS, MFT

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